Our generation's negative labelling of Tamil is not a reflection of Tamil heritage but a byproduct of generational trauma.
Growing up as a first generation Tamil-Canadian, what I was taught about Tamil vs. how Tamil people behaved around me, made it challenging to fully embrace my Tamil identity.
I was taught that the Tamil language and heritage was incredibly rich, and my Tamil ancestors had a profound influence on the world.
Every time I heard about the history of my people, my eyes lit up with curiosity, growing a desire to delve deeper into my Tamil heritage.
Being a child in North America, I could not just drop everything and move to the motherland.
So in order to learn, and feel connected to my ancient roots, I thought spending more time around the Tamil community in Canada would be exactly what I needed.
This however, is when things became very confusing.
Despite meeting wonderful people and learning a lot, I found myself constantly encountering backhanded comments about my gender, skin colour, education, and body, particularly when venturing outside my family circle.
It felt like no matter what my interests were, if I was not pursuing a traditionally "acceptable job", did not weigh a certain number, or was freely expressing my thoughts, I was talked down to.
I quickly discovered this was a shared experience for many first and second-generation Tamil Canadians.
These negative experiences created a desire to distance myself from the Tamil community.
Subconsciously, I associated the entire Tamil community and my ancient Tamil heritage with the behaviour I encountered.
I felt stuck between loving the food, music and traditions I practised at home, to hating the behaviour of many adults -who in my eyes were the closest thing to being able to understand and experience an authentic Tamil life.
I know, like myself, almost everyone has had their fair share of negative experiences within their Tamil community.
But where in Tamil heritage does it say one must be a doctor or own three cars in order to be accepted as Tamil? This is when I realized my perception of Tamil was tainted by the behaviour of a group of people not by Tamil.
During these negative experiences, I would think "Tamil people suck". But really I subconsciously was telling myself "Tamil sucks" because to me, these people were supposed to represent Tamil.
But in reality, "Tamil doesn't suck". The behaviour of certain people sucks.
In that moment two things became very clear to me:
1. Majority of Tamils' toxic traits comes from the centuries of oppression.
From genocide to colonization, for the last five hundred years Tamil communities have been told that the Tamil language, traditions and values are wrong, and must be changed.
Ancient manuscripts were deliberately destroyed, land was forcibly stolen, laws were created to prevent Tamils from practising traditions and preserving history. Those who resisted faced torture and death.
Despite these challenges, various Tamil communities have admirably saved significant aspects of Tamil heritage over the decades.
Sadly, I can not say my grand-parents, or great-grandparents generation were equipped with the tools to fully experience or effectively document the origins of Tamil traditions, history, or language merely because of the oppression Tamil globally faced.
While the global Tamil community has preserved certain customs, one could argue that there are many elements that the average Tamil has lost.
With this in mind, how is it fair to label Tamil as backwards, toxic or uncivilized when today, people are getting a trauma-induced, watered-down Tamil experience?
The negative comments, and the devaluation of others, stem from generations of Tamils being repeatedly told that they are unworthy.
Despite becoming more open to discussing trauma, and healing, the Tamil community has yet to talk about how the behaviours picked up from the various levels of generational trauma has, and can, taint the image of Tamil for the generations to come.
Which brings me to point number 2.
Once I saw that my perception of Tamil was largely shaped by experiences with others, I decided to search for the true essence of Tamil on my own.
I implore you to dig deep and find answers for yourself.
Read varying perspectives, talk to elders, and question everything.
I quickly understood that many works in English about Tamil traditions were written from an ignorant or condescending manner. The desire to objectively view Tamil grew greatly.
What I initially anticipated as a few month exploration journey has continued over 3 years, purely drive by amazement of Tamil heritage.
Throughout this journey of uncovering the intentions of my Tamil ancestors, I have experienced excitement, confusion, and even frustration.
I recognize the challenge of accessing unbiased information about Tamil heritage in English. That is why to pay it forward to those facing a similar issue, I document my findings about Tamil heritage through written, audio, and video-based mediums online.
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I hope you to join me in the journey or unlearning and relearning!
Open your mind and explore:
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